


Take my hand (I'll help you!)

by fanfiction_girl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, College Student Castiel, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Professor Dean Winchester, Relationship Advice, Relationship Problems, Smut, Student Castiel, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-09-13 14:20:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 20,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9127492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanfiction_girl/pseuds/fanfiction_girl
Summary: Cas can't help but have a major crush on his really hot stats professor, Professor Dean Winchester. After he runs into him at Thanksgiving dinner and hooks up with him he has to try and convince Dean how great a relationship could be if he were to just give it a shot.





	1. Head over Heels

Jess went to college a year before Sam since she was a year older. That's when she met Castiel and they became best friends. Now that Sam has joined them they are all great friends. Castiel has a hot professor, Professor Dean Winchester, and Cas has a major crush on him. Although, he happens to be a very nervous and shy guy and doesn't talk to his professor at all, he just raves about how attractive his professor is to Jess, not knowing that it was Sam's brother.

Cas sat in class and he couldn't help but drool over how amazing his professor was. He sat there and stared at him, letting his mind wander about him, and not the stats he was teaching. He pulled his phone out and texted Jess.

_He's so attractive it's not even fair. -CN_

He sat his phone back down and zoned back out on his professor. He couldn't get enough of that man, the bright green eyes, and those freckles that spread across his cheeks. Cas thought he was so attractive and just wished that he would get the guts to talk to him some day. His phone buzzed and he read his message from Jess. 

_It's a wonder that you haven't been kicked out of that class yet. Do you ever actually get any work done in there? -JM_

_Hey, I'm passing. That's all that matters. -CN_

_Barely. Perfect excuse to go see him after class though ;) -JM_

Jess had been bothering Cas for months to go talk to Professor Winchester in his office hours but Cas was too chicken to do that. He didn't think he'd be able to function around him and even if he could he was too nervous. Cas didn't think his professor would be too interested in him anyways. 

_What? Are you crazy? I would just be a mumbling mess.... not attractive. -CN_

_You'd be getting help for class, it's not a date or anything. -JM_

_Yeah, I'd still be a mumbling mess. -CN_

_What are you going to do when you actually need help in class? -JM_

Cas didn't know. He was getting close to needing it and he really needed to pass. He wouldn't mind another semester with professor hottie though, it would be really nice, but he didn't want this semester to be a waste. 

_Eh, get a tutor or something. -CN_

_We're college students, no one has money for that. -JM_

Then there was also that. Cas really didn't have the money for a tutor and he really didn't want to spend the money next semester, but his professor was really attractive... 

_I guess I'll have to fail the class and just take it again ;) -CN_

_If you play your cards right you could probably get an A the first time around ;) -JM_

Cas bit his lip at the text and looked back up to professor sexy. He tried not to let his imagination run too wild but he couldn't help but think how good Dean's hands would feel on his skin. He tried to go back to his phone and not get too excited in class.

_If only. -CN_

_At least talk to him. You can do it. And pay attention in class for once. -JM_

_I am..... to my professor.... -CN_

Cas looked back up to his professor and admired him. He really just wished he had the guts to talk to him but he knew he would not be able to talk. 

_He's gonna notice your staring eventually if he hasn't already. -JM_

_It's a big class. -CN_

_Doesn't matter if you're constantly staring at him. It's a math class, nobody should be paying that much attention to him. -JM_

_I wouldn't complain if he knew... -CN_

_Still might wanna tone down your trying to get into his pants and start trying to actually learn the material -JM_

_Hmm... Maybe... -CN_ Cas replied and sat his phone aside to actually pay attention... to the math this time but his professor was ending class. 

"Just make sure you review everything for your quiz next class and come to my office hours if you need any help." Dean said and put the homework up on the screen, dismissing the class. 

Cas frowned as the class ended and people started filtering out. He sat in his seat a little longer than usual and let the other people past him. He looked up as his professor was messing with his bag and heading towards him. He blushed slightly and looked down. 

"Castiel? You okay?" His heart started racing as he looked up to see his really, really hot professor standing in front of him and talking to him... 

He fumbled with his stuff as he was putting it into his bag. "Uh y-yeah. I'm good." He stuttered. How did he know his name?

"Okay. Drop by my office hours if you're having any trouble with the material." 

"Oh, um. Okay." Cas said, looking up to his hot professor and wishing he had the guts to start a conversation that wasn't related to school. 

Dean let out a soft chuckle. "Have a good day." He said before leaving.

"Y-you too." Cas said as Dean left.  _Such an idiot._ He thought to himself. He was right, he was a mumbling mess around him. 

 _I'm totally a blubbering mess. -CN_ He texted Jess. 


	2. The Bright Idea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from Jess and Sam's point of view.

Sam and Jess sat at the table together, eating lunch together between their classes. Sam worked tonight so they wanted to catch each other at lunch and see each other before the end of the night. They were sitting there, finished with lunch and just talking when Jess's phone buzzed. Sam looked at it. "Looks like it's Cas." he said, handing Jess her phone.

Jess grabbed her phone and replied to Cas with a smile. "He's in stats. Not paying attention at all, but still in class."

Sam chuckled. "I really don't think he would ever skip that class. He's too into Dean to ever skip." He said looking to Jess, who laughed at a text from Cas. 

"Should I tell him? Do you think it's weird that he has the hots for your brother and doesn't even know it?" She asked. 

Sam shrugged with a chuckle, thinking about it. It really wasn't that weird to him. He just wished that Dean would find someone again to be happy with. He's been a bum lately and just hanging around him and Jess. It got a little weird sometimes, but he did love his brother. 

"I don't think you should tell him. I think it's funny." He said before thinking for a minute. "We should totally invite the two of them over for dinner some time." He said laughing. Cas would probably have a heart attack seeing Dean in a setting that wasn't at school or in a classroom. 

"That'd be hysterical but he''d hate me forever." Jess said with a laugh. 

Sam thought for a second. "What about for Thanksgiving? We could just say that we wanted all our family and friends together... invite a few other people." He said looking to Jess, who grinned. 

"Ooh, that'd be funny. Can you imagine the look on his face walking into seeing Dean at the dinner table?" Jess said with a chuckle. 

"He would go straight white I'm sure. And then just stand there awkwardly." Sam chuckled, already picturing Cas's face. "But really.. we could just invite Charlie and Kevin over." He said. 

Jess nodded. "And Bobby, Ellen and Jo." She said looking to Sam. 

"We really going to do this?" He asked, looking to Jess a little unsure. 

Jess nodded. "We should. They need to have a real conversation, he's scared to talk to him at all." She said. 

Sam chuckled. "Which is surprising considering how into Dean Cas is... It's official then, Thanksgiving here, family, friends and a good time." Sam kissed her cheek. 

Jess smiled. "Sounds like a good Thanksgiving." She nodded. "Cas will be mad at first, but maybe he'll finally get over his fear of talking to him." 

"I think he'll need to." Sam said chuckling. 

"Yeah." She laughed. "For the sake of our friendship and his academic record."

"Well I don't think it would harm Dean to get to know Cas." He said with a hopeful look. "He needs someone." He said. 

"Yeah, it's really about time they really meet." 

Sam nodded. "I agree." He leaned back in his chair. 

"Well, based on my conversation with Cas right now it looks like Dean is going to have to talk to him first though. He's too stubborn and scared." She said looking to Sam, who chuckled. 

"I'm sure Dean will. Actually, I don't know... we'll have to see." Sam said and Jess nodded as she texted Cas. 

_Hey, how would you feel about spending Thanksgiving with me, Sam and a few others? -JM_

_Sounds like fun, why not? -CN_

_Great! Sounds good. -JM_

Jess looked back up to Sam and smiled. "Cas is in for Thanksgiving." She said and continued texting Cas.

_He talked to me... he knew my name and everything. How does he know my name!? -CN_

Jess laughed. "He has no idea I've been talking him up to your brother. Now we's all freaked out that he even knows his name." She said, texting Cas back.

Sam chuckled. "Oh god, Thanksgiving is going to be great." He said sitting back.

_Ooh! What'd he say? -JM_

_Just that I should stop by his office hours if I need to. I turned into such a mess. I'm so dumb. -CN_

_You're fine, I'm sure he's had plenty of students who were shy before. -JM_

_I don't know. Maybe he sees me staring at him. -CN_

_If it was a problem he probably would've mentioned it by now considering it's been happening all semester. -JM_

_Well I can't help it, He's just soooo hot. -CN_

_Oh boy, you've got it hard for him. -JM_

_I really do. Like I want to have his babies one day, and have coffee with him every morning... -CN_

Jess let out a surprised laugh. "Holy shit Sam he's so in love with him! It's not just a crush, he really wants him." She said looking to Sam. 

Sam raised his eyebrows. "Really?" He asked. "Let me see." He said scooting closer and trying to look over her shoulder at the messages. 

"Hey." She angled her phone away from him. "Private conversation here. Just trust me he talks about him like his the goddamn love of his life and he's never even had a proper conversation with him. It's kinda adorable." She said looking to Sam.

_Shit, Cas let's not get ahead of ourselves here. You might want to try actually talking to the man first. Like a full conversation. -JM_

_I can't help it, he's so amazing. -CN_

_I know he is, you seriously need to talk to him. -JM_

_I want to but it's freaking embarrassing. -CN_

Sam pouted playfully. "I wanna see." He said resting his chin on Jess's shoulder and kissing her cheek. 

"Hey don't give me that look. I didn't have to tell you any of this." Jess said looking to Sam's puppy dog eyees. 

"But I mean, it's like my brothers future right here. Please." He made his puppy dog eyes a little sadder.

"Does Dean even like guys? And stop using those on me, you know I've built up and an immunity." Jess said looking down to Sam. 

"Uh, he hasn't said but I'm almost positive he's bi." Sam said kissing her cheek and scooting away. 

"Ooohh." She said excitedly. "Good for Cas then. Could this really happen?"

"We'll see in a few days." He said with a grin. 

"I guess we will." She smiled back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know your thoughts and any suggestions. Leave me kudos and comments so I know if I should continue or not. Love you guys!


	3. Thanksgiving: I'll guide you home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanksgiving comes and Cas discovers that Dean is Sam's brother when he gets to Thanksgiving dinner and Dean is there.

Thanksgiving came around pretty quickly. Sam and Jess asked Cas to bring a pie for dessert. He made an apple pie and got ready to go over to Jess and Sam's place. He pulled on a sweater over his usual white shirt and tie. He had been studying for his stats quiz that was after Thanksgiving, a little nervous that he really might not pass it this semester. Even though he wouldn't mind having the professor again next semester he really didn't want to take the class again. When it was finally time to head over to dinner he put his books away and headed over to their place. 

He knocked on the door as he hummed a Christmas song to himself. He always loved Christmas and couldn't help but play the music the second Halloween was over. He stood at the door and waited before it opened. He looked up and saw Professor Winchester standing in the doorway. "Hey Castiel. Come on in." His professor said and Cas's eyes widened.

He stood frozen in the doorway, not quite able to move. He looked into the apartment, making sure he was at the right place. Yup, right house. "Professor Winchester?" He asked, confused. Why would he be there.

"That would be me." Dean let out a soft laugh. "But you can call me Dean here, it's okay. C'mon, Jess has been waiting for you." 

Cas furrowed his brow and tilted his head. "W-what are you doing here?" he asked as he cautiously stepped inside the apartment, looking at his professor, who just raised his eyebrows at him. 

"Why wouldn't I be here?" he asked.

Jess came running over and hugged Cas. "Cas!" She cheered. Cas hugged her back slowly. 

"Hey, what the hell is going on?" He asked, half whispering. 

"What do you mean? What's wrong?" She asked quietly, pulling back. 

"Oh you know, nothing." Cas said glancing to Dean before going past them and inside. Why was Dean here?

Jess pulled Cas aside. "Okay, Okay. I'm done. You're going to hate me for this, but Dean is actually Sam's big brother. He's here for dinner too." She said and Cas wasn't sure what to say. His eyes widened. 

"What? How come you never told me this." He said punching her arm playfully. 

"Hey." Jess held his arms down. "I honestly thought you knew for a while, with the last names being the same and I knowing so much about him without you telling me things. But as time went on I came to the conclusion that you didn't actually know. Then, I'm sorry, but Sam and I thought it'd be kind of funny to surprise you like this. Please don't hate me." 

Cas sighed. "Well why didn't you just tell me?" He asked shaking his head. 

"So I'd eventually be able to see this reaction from you." She giggled. 

Cas glared at her a little. "It's not very nice." 

"I'm sorry," Jess hugged him again. "I didn't mean it in a mean way, I just thought it'd be funny." 

"Well it's not." Cas said. "I would have fixed my hair or something." He said running his hands though it. 

"Oh you look fine." She ran her hands though his hair as well, messing it up a bit. "Sex hair is sexy. He'll like it." 

"Jess..." Cas groaned and tried to fix it, just making it worse. 

"Awh leave it! You look so good! you should go talk to him some more." Jess said. 

"What? No way. You saw me.. I can't." Cas said shaking his head. "It's embarrassing really." Why did he have to be so stinking shy? Dean was so hot and Cas really liked him. 

"You can do it. There'll be a few more people here for dinner soon so it won't be as one on one." Jess said. 

"But I can't." Cas said looking over to his hot professor. He looked even better in that tan sweater. He bit his lip slightly, wishing he could talk to him. 

"Yes you can. Sam's probably talking you up right now. I bet he likes you already." 

"Did you see me earlier Jess?" He asked with an agitated look. 

"Yeah but who cares? Some people find shyness cute." Jess tried to console him. 

Cas looked to Jess. "Doubt it." 

"Give yourself some credit. You're looking super cute and I've told him nothing but good things about you." Jess said. 

"Yeah, but he's my professor, nothing can happen, no matter how bad I want it to." He said, looking over to dean once again. 

"I mean, since you're over 18 it's technically not illegal, just generally frowned upon. But you could get past that. He wont be your professor forever. Unless you keep staring at him instead of studying." 

"Yea, yeah. Aren't there policies that say he can't?" He asked. 

"I don't know what this school's policy is. It's different everywhere. But that doesn't matter if you don't tell anyone," she winked. "One sec." She went over to answer the door. Cas sighed and leaned against the table. He bit his lip slightly as he looked over to Dean again. 

\-----

Sam and Dean were in the kitchen finishing things up before everyone else came. "So, Cas huh?" Sam asked Dean with a teasing tone. 

"Yeah, is he alright?" He asked, confused.

Sam chuckled. "Yeah he's good. He'll be just fine." He laughed. "He just can't quite function around his hot professor." He winked teasingly. 

Dean laughed a little. "Yeah, I know. Guy stares at me all class then cant talk straight afterwards. I'm just that good." 

Sam chuckled. "Looks have nothing to do with your skills." He said looking over to Jess and Cas talking. "If you score his number and actually get him to talk to you then I'll believe your skills." Sam looked back to Dean. 

"Hey, just because you have no looks to rely on doesn't mean they don't work for me. And c'mon, man, you know I can't do that. He's a student," He paused. "....and a dude." 

Sam gave Dean the bitchface. "Cuz that's stopped you before." He muttered sarcastically. He was pretty sure dean has slept with both a student and a dude before. 

"You don't know my life," Dean muttered, annoyed. "We all make mistakes. And stop thinking I'm gay cuz I'm not." Dean looked at Sam seriously. 

"Hey, I didn't say anything about gay, I know you're still into girls." He smirked. 

"Good, so stop," he sent a bitchface back. 

Sam chuckled. "Whatver, just go talk to him, professor.." Cas said with a smirk. 

"Fuck off." Dean said quietly. "We'll talk when I want to talk. But nothing's happening here, capeesh?" 

"Sure...." Sam said, trailing off before grabbing the turkey and bringing it to the table. 

Dean rolled his eyes before letting them wander over to Cas. He made eye contact with him, sending him a smile. Cas blushed and looked down, breaking the eye contact they had. Dean chuckled, going back to getting the rest of the food ready. 

\-----

Within a short amount of time everyone had filtered through the door and gathered around the dinner table, starting to get food. Cas, of course was sat next to Dean at the table. When they were passing food around Cas and Dean kept bumping hands and it was doing terrible things to Cas. 

Jess nudged Cas and held back a laugh, sitting on the other side of him and seeing how flustered Cas was getting. It was quite entertaining. Cas shot Jess a small glare. She had to sit him next to someone he couldn't function around. Jess covered her mouth to hide a giggle and went back to her food. Cas was glad Dean was too focused on his mashed potatoes to notice anything. 

Cas tried hard not to focus on the fact that he was sitting next to dean and focus on his food instead. Everyone around Cas was talking and he just kept to himself. Jess just kept glancing to him, probably trying to make sure he was okay. He kept to himself for a little longer before finally starting to talk to the others. Then Dean turned to Cas and started talking to him. "So, you liking the class okay?" He asked him.

Cas nodded. "Yeah-It's good.: he said, getting nervous again. He was grateful when Dean didn't focus on his stuttering and just carried on the conversation. 

"You ready for the quiz?" Dean asked and Cas chewed at his lip. 

"Not quite." He said looking down and worrying his lip. 

"Feel free to come by if you need help. Here or my office." Dean replied. 

Cas nodded. "Okay, I'll have to some time." Maybe he would be able to. Cas noticed after talking to Dean for a bit that it wasn't so bad and he really didn't need to be as nervous as he was. 

Dean smiled at him. "Good. Hope to see you soon. Jess says you're very smart. You'll get it soon enough." 

"I'm not smart in stats though." Cas said before it donned on him. "Wait... Jess has been telling you about me?" He asked and Dean nodded with a laugh.  

"Yeah. She's here with Sam all the time." Dean replied. 

Cas nodded. "Oh, of course she would be telling you about me..." He said as though it were obvious. 

Dean huffed a laugh. "Why's that?" 

"Huh? Nothing." Cas said blushing slightly. 

"Oh come on, you can tel me," he grinned. 

"Uh, nope." Cas said and Jess nudged him, holding back a grin. Cas blushed some more and went back to his food and trying to hide his blush. He sipped at the wine they had a little extra, letting it help him get loose. He noticed Dean kept glancing at him as he ate the pie he made. 

Cas chuckled, watching dean. "You like the pie?" He asked and Dean gave him a thumbs up, unable to speak with all the pie that was in his mouth. Cas laughed.

Dean swallowed the pie and took a breath. "Don't laugh at me. Can't a man just appreciate his pie in peace" He asked jokingly 

Cas chuckled. "Must be some really good pie." 

Dean shoveled in another mouthful. "All pie is good pie." He said in a muffled voice. 

Cas laughed watching Dean. "You're so cute." He said before even thinking about it. His eyes widened and he quickly covered his mouth and turned away. Did he really just say that? What an idiot.

Dean raised his eyebrows ad swallowed his bite of pie, laughing a little. "You're more forward than I would've thought once you've got a little alcohol in your system." 

Cas blushed deeply and covered his face. "I'm so sorry. I really didn't mean to say that." 

Dean patted him on the back. "No worries man. I'm not gay but I'll take that as a compliment." 

"Oh, uh.... okay." Cas said. There went any hopes that he would ever have anything with Dean. "I'm gonna.. Go to the kitchen." He said getting up and heading to the kitchen. 

Jess followed behind Cas. "Where did that come from? You were doing so well!" She said.

Cas shook his head. "He's not gay Jess. Now I'm just a perv fantasizing like this." He said running a hand through his hair and leaning over the sink. 

"Honestly I don't believe him. Sam knows him better than he knows himself and he's pretty certain Dean is bisexual. He's probably just in denial." Jess tried to reassure Cas. 

"Well.. he still said he wasn't gay. And I probably just gross him out and make him uncomfortable." Cas said. 

Jess pulled him up and put an arm around his shoulders. "From what I heard he didn't seem mad. I think he would've told you off if it bothered him that much." 

Cas sighed. "Just... He's not into me okay." Cas said "Lets go gather the dishes." 

Jess let go of him and started cleaning up, not wanting to upset him more. Cas gathered the plates and went to the sink to start washing them. He sighed as he washed them and Dean came over to him, putting his hand on his shoulder. "Hey." He said and Cas turned to look at him. "Hey." He said back before looking back to the dishes. 

"I meant what I said, it's totally fine. You don't have to be embarrassed." Dean said 

Cas blushed again as he was reminded of the really embarrassing event. "Well it's still embarrassing." Cas said quietly. 

"A bid, admittedly, but no hard feelings. Always nice to be called cute." Dean reassured him. 

"Even by one of your students?" 

Dean laughed softly. "Honestly, between you and me, this is not the first time a student has said something along those lines to me." 

"Oh." Cas nodded. He was stupid for saying what he did. "It won't happen again." He said as he washed the dishes. He realized he'd have to give up all his fantasies and how into Dean he was. Nothing was ever going to come of it. 

Dean nodded. "When you're done, can I walk you home? It's getting late." 

Cas furrowed his brows and looked to Dean. "Really?" He asked, tilting his head. 

"Yeah, we can talk more and you won't have to walk alone in the dark." 

Cas shrugged. "Uh... Okay..." 

"Great." Dean smiled. "I'm gonna go talk to Sammy for a bit. Let me know when you're good to go."

Cas nodded. 

Sam and Jess were wiping off the table and Dean came over to them. "Hey." He spoke softly. "Cas is a little tipsy, I'm gonna make sure he gets home okay once he's done here."

Sam nodded. "Okay." He said looking to Jess with a smirk. Dean shot him a look. "Don't give me that face, I'm being nice. He embarrassed himself and I'm showing him there's no hard feelings." 

Sam and Jess began giggling. "Sure, alright Dean." Sam said 

Dean rolled his eyes. "Screw you guys." 

Cas finished off his glass of wine before washing it with the other dishes and finishing them. He looked around a little, catching Dean's eye. "You good?" Dean asked him.

"Uh... Yeah, sure..." Cas said looking around for his sweater. He grabbed it off his chair and pulled it on. He went over to Dean, who looked over to Sam and Jess. "Alright, we're heading out." Dean said.

"Don't be out too late." Sam said with a cheesy grin. 

Dean sent a middle finger in Sam's direction and headed to the door as Jess jugged Cas. "Be safe." She said quietly, winking as she pulled away. 

Cas rolled his eyes. "He's not into me." He said before pulling away. "See you." He said, following Dean out the door. 

Dean walked right beside Cas, down the driveway and out onto the sidewalk. "You ever get as sick of those two as I do?" He joked. 

Cas chuckled softly. "They like to tease." He said walking in the direction of his apartment.

"I've noticed. They're pretty perfect for each other though." 

Cas nodded. "Hope I find that some day." He muttered.

"Good luck to you in that." Dean replied. "Luckily you've got a lot of time and all the boys in the world to work with. You just gotta live a little and screw around a bit first, ya know what I'm saying?"

Cas chuckled "Yeah... totally." He said. The only guy that he wanted was Dean and he couldn't have him. Why did he let himself fall this hard for a straight guy? Of course. Cas always falls for the straight ones. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure to leave kudos and comments to let me know if I should continue! I'm really liking it so far.


	4. Take me Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas gets Dean back to his apartment and gets some stats help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little short, the next chapter will be great though.

Dean walked Cas right up to his front steps. "Seems like a nice place you've got here." He said.

Cas nodded even though his apartment was small and cheap. "You can come look if you want." He said, thinking about it. "Actually, I could use some help with stats." He said. 

"Yeah I'd be happy to help." Dean replied to Cas's surprise. He really thought Dean was going to make some excuse that he needed to head back home but instead he said he'd come in. 

"Okay." Cas said and opened his door, stumbling in a little. "Oooh, it's so warm in here." he said smiling. "It was so cold out there, my sweater wasn't enough." 

"Yeah, you might wanna invest in some warmer stuff. Ever try trenches? They're not for me but I think they'd fit the aesthetic you've got going on." Dean said looking to Castiel. 

Cas chuckled softly and opened his closet door,revealing two trenches. "Yeah... I have some. Just thought it'd be warmer than it is out there." He said rubbing his arms. 

"Ah nice." Dean admired his trenches. "At least it's nice and warm in here now." He said.

Cas nodded. "Let me go get my book." Cas said before going to his bedroom to get it. He came back with his book and a blanket and dean was sitting on the couch. "Want a beer?" He asked. 

"I'd love one thanks." Dean replied. 

Cas went to the fridge and grabbed two beers. He opened them and went back to the living room. He gave one beer to Dean and sipped on the other. He sat down and pulled the blanket over him. "You want some?" He offered, holding up the blanket. 

"Yeah, thanks," he smiled and pulled some of the blanket over himself, getting settled in. He took a sip of his beer. "So, what part are you getting stuck on?"

Cas chuckled. "All of it." He said opening his book. 

Dean laughed in response. "Fair enough. We can start from the beginning of the chapter."

Cas nodded. "Thanks." 

"It's no trouble." Dean flipped to the first page if the chapter and began explaining it from the beginning. 

Not much longer Cas was through with his beer and couldn't help but gradually scooting closer to Dean, who kept taking sips of his beer and showing Cas how to do problems in his notebook. Dean was taking detailed notes so Cas would be able to do it himself on the quiz, but Cas wasn't focusing on the math. 

"You're really good at that." Cas said leaning closer, more confident now that he was a little drunk. 

Dean turned and looked at Cas, laughing a little. "I'd hope so, otherwise I shouldn't have the job I do." He said 

Cas nodded. He bit his lip a little, thinking about how incredibly sexy Dean was. He shivered slightly and curled up in his blanket. 

"You okay?" Dean grinned.

 Cas nodded. "Just got a little cold." He said scooting closer to Dean for his warmth. 

Dean nodded. "Sure that's all you're thinking?" He asked softly. 

Cas bit his lip gently and looked up to Dean. "I can't say what I was thinking." He didn't want to make Dean uncomfortable again and he was very drunk.

"Why don't you show me then?" Dean asked shyly. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figured I'd end it here and then if you want the smut you can go over to the next chapter. Make sure you add comments and kudos to let me know I should continue.


	5. Take me to bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is smut!!! If you want to skip over the smut you can just go over to the next chapter.

"You okay?" Dean grinned.

 Cas nodded. "Just got a little cold." He said scooting closer to Dean for his warmth. 

Dean nodded. "Sure that's all you're thinking?" He asked softly. 

Cas bit his lip gently and looked up to Dean. "I can't say what I was thinking." He didn't want to make Dean uncomfortable again and he was very drunk.

"Why don't you show me then?" Dean asked shyly. 

Cas flushed deeply, thinking about it. He really wanted to and he was really drunk so it was clouding his judgement. He leaned over and kissed Dean. He was surprised when Dean met him halfway and grabbed the hair at the back of his head. He scooted closer to him and pressed against him, Dean pulling him closer. 

Cas hummed and climbed onto Dean's lap, straddling him. He pressed his tongue against Dean's lip, asking for entrance, which Dean quickly gave him. Dean opened his mouth and pressed his tong against Cas's. 

Cas felt Dean's hands sliding around his back, they slipped under his sweater and shirt, resting against his lower back, which sent shivers up Castiel's spine. 

**** Dean's hands trailed down a little lower and gripped Cas's ass tight, causing him to moan. He ground down against Dean and groaned softly.

Cas kissed down to Dean's jaw and neck, sucking a light mark there. 

Dean's hands made their way back up before sliding under Castiel's boxers, taking another tight grip on Cas's ass. He moaned even more, the feeling of Dean's hands on his bare ass driving him crazy. Dean's hands inched their way down closer to Cas's hole, causing him to squirm slightly and press against Dean, but his hands retreated, making Cas whine.

Dean quickly worked at Cas’s sweater, pulling it over his head and then to his tie and button, quickly and smoothly getting them undone. He got them off and leaned down to kiss at Cas’s neck before trailing the kisses down even lower to his collar bone, and down to his nipples, sucking and napping at one of them and pinching the other. Cas moaned. “Dean..” 

Dean smiled. “Mmm, good. Keep making those noises for me.” Dean said against his skin and tweaked at his nipple. 

Cas groaned again before Dean pushed him down flat against the couch, straddling his hips and pinning him down as he stripped himself of his own shirt. Cas looked up to Dean’s chest in awe and ran his hands over Dean’s shoulders and chest. 

“You are so much sexier than I had imagined.” Cas said before Dean cut him off with a kiss. Dean kissed Cas deeply and reached a hand down between them to rub at him through his pants. Cas moaned loudly into Dean’s mouth at the contact and moved his hips. 

“What do you want me to do to you?” Dean asked, pulling back from the kiss and looking down to Cas. 

Cas breathed deeply. “I don’t care, I just want you.” Cas said biting his lip as he looked to Dean. 

“Mmm, good answer.” Dean said pulling away from Cas and undoing his pants, pulling them and his underwear down in one swift motion, causing Cas to moan at the cold air that was suddenly against his throbbing cock. “You got stuff so I can fuck you senseless?” Dean asked looking down to Cas. 

Cas nodded intently. “God.. Yeah, in my room.” He said. “I don’t know if I can last that long though, I we might need to do two rounds or something.” Cas said looking up to Dean and licking his lips.

Dean nodded and stood up. “Take a break and suck me off first.” He said looking down to Cas, who nodded. 

Cas fumbled with Dean’s belt, his hands shaking a little from nervousness. He really couldn’t believe this was actually happening. He pulled Dean’s pants and underwear down and his eyes widened. “Holy shit. Dean you’re huge.” Cas said rubbing a hand over Dean. 

Dean gently pulled Cas in closer by the back of his head. “Go on, see how much you can fit in that pretty little mouth of yours.” Dean encouraged. 

Cas licked from the base to the tip before wrapping his lips around the head of his cock and licking at the tip some more. He closed his eyes and slowly sank down on Dean’s cock, taking more of it in his mouth and bobbing his head. 

Cas looked up at Dean as he bobbed his head and licked at his cock. “Look so good like this baby. My whole cock down your throat like a good boy.” Dean said and Cas took him deeper.

He let his throat go slack and looked up at Dean as he let him take control. Dean began fucking his face slowly, the head of his cock hitting the back of Cas’s throat. Dean pulled Cas’s head back before letting him sink back down again and pressing all the way into Cas, who choked a little but still looked up to Dean. Dean fucked his face a little more before pulling back and looking down to Cas. 

“Ready for me to fuck you?” Dean asked and Cas nodded as he stood up. “Let’s go to my bed.” Cas said hoarsely, grabbing Dean’s hand and leading him into his room. 

He sank down onto the bed with Dean and kissed him deeply. Dean pressed closer to Cas. “Get the stuff out and lay down for me.” He said biting his lip which drove Cas crazy, it was so sexy. 

Cas reached into the drawer and grabbed a condom and some lube before handing it to Dean. He rubbed his hands over his chest again, not being able to get enough of him. “You’re so damn sexy. God, I’ve fantasized about this so much.” He bit his lip, looking over Dean. 

“Mmmm, really?” Dean sat the stuff aside and pulled Cas in closer by his waist. “What’d I do to you in these fantasies?” 

“You fucked me like I was yours.” Cas said grinding their hard cocks against each other and biting his lip. 

Dean hummed. “And you want me to do that to you now too, hmm?” He asked with a smirk. 

Cas nodded. “Please, yes please.” He begged. 

“Good.” Dean said kissing Cas hard before gripping his hips and flipping him over. Cas went easily, sprawling out and sticking his ass in the air. 

“I want you so bad.” Cas was cut off when Dean pulled his ass into the air more and pressed his face down into the sheets. 

“I know baby, you’re gonna love this.” He said pressing a lubed finger to Cas’s hole and pressed it inside him. 

Cas moaned and pressed against Dean’s finger. “Fuck.” He muttered. Dean pressed a firm hand to Cas’s back, making him hold still as he opened him up. Cas moaned loudly as Dean worked on his ass. The best feeling though, was when Dean leaned down and licked at his hole, teasing it with his tongue. 

Cas moaned loudly. “Shit.. Dean.” He whined. Dean did this some more until Cas was stretched out as much as he could be for his thick cock. He slipped his fingers out, causing Cas to whine some more.

“You ready for me?” Dean asked as he slowly rubbed his lubed cock up and down Cas’s crack teasingly. 

Cas moaned and tried to press back onto Dean’s cock. “Fuck me please.” He begged. Dean flipped him over quickly and hooked his legs over his shoulders. 

“Wanna see you while I fuck you open. Ever take a cock this big?” Dean asked, teasing Cas’s hole with his cock again. 

Cas shook his head. “You’re so thick, I want you so bad.” He squirmed and tried to get Dean’s dick in him. 

“That’s what I like to hear.” Dean smirked and rubbed against him once more before lining up and pushing slowly into Cas until he bottomed out, watching Cas the whole time. Cas’s face was beautiful as he took his cock. 

Cas groaned. It stung a little, Dean was so big. “Ah shit Dean…. Fuck you’re so big.” He closed his eyes and moaned. 

Dean moaned quietly. “That feel good inside your tight little ass?” 

Cas nodded. “So fucking good.” He moaned, wrapping his arms around Dean’s neck and pulling him down into a kiss. Dean kissed him deeply before sitting back up and leaning forward slightly to start moving his hips at a moderately slow pace since he knew Cas was so tight. 

Cas groaned. “Oh shit Dean. Fuck.” 

Dean moved his hips slow and deep inside Castiel until he began to pick up the pace. Cas was moaning loudly, driving Dean insane. 

“Mmmm good,” He ran a hand over Cas’s chest. “Be nice and loud for me, tell me how good it is.” Dean said as he fucked into him. 

Cas moaned again. “Feels so fucking good. Pound into me like I’m yours.” He begged. 

Dean got a predatory grin on his face and shoved in with one hard and deep thrust before speeding up and leaning down to bite and suck at the crook of Cas’s neck. Cas’s moans just got louder and louder as Dean fucked him hard. 

Dean’s breathing got louder as he grew closer to climax. He pulled back a little and stared down at Cas’s face, pushing harder and faster until his balls were slapping against his hot skin. 

Cas moaned louder and louder as his climax began to build as well. “Ah fuck!” he moaned as he started cumming, spraying his come all over his and Dean’s chests. Cas’s hole tightened around Dean, causing him to grasp. He thrust in one last time, pushing all the way in and came hard, his mouth falling open as he did. 

Cas groaned softly and looked up to Dean as they both came down from their highs. Cas leaned in and kissed Dean deeply, their breath mixing together. Dean returned the kiss before sitting up and slowly sliding out of him. 

Cas’s legs fell back down to the bed and Dean laid down next to Cas with a huff, catching his breath. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave me kudos and comments to let me know I should continue and what you are liking about it so far! I love you guys!


	6. No Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas discovers that Dean wants nothing but sex from him.

Cas and Dean both breathed heavily as they came down from their high, lying next to each other. Cas looked over to Dean with a smile and kissed his shoulder. “I thought you weren’t gay.” He teased, wrapping an arm around Dean.

Dean scooted away from Cas uncomfortably. “Sorry, I don’t do cuddling. And I’m not, so don’t go telling Sam about this, he’ll get the wrong idea.”

Cas’s heart broke a little as Dean scooted away and basically shut away from Cas. He sighed. “Oh… Uh, okay.: He said scooting back a little. He got up off the bed with a slight hiss. “I’ll just throw some boxers on.” He said with a sigh. He loved naked cuddling in bed after sex, that was the best part. He didn’t understand how Dean could say he wasn’t gay after he just fucked him in the ass and obviously liked it.

“I’m amazed that you can even move, I thought you’d be sore for days.” Dean said to him with a smirk.

Cas looked back to Dean. “I’m pretty sore, but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” He said wiping himself off and pulling on some boxers.

Dean sat up. “Hey, no, it’s fine. I should head out anyway before Sam starts asking questions. We should do this again sometime though. You’re a good lay.” Dean said. 

Cas furrowed his brows really intensely, glad he was facing away from Dean so he didn’t see his reaction and how hurt he was at that comment. A good lay? So that’s all Cas was to Dean? He stayed quiet for a moment before replying. “Maybe.” He said, taking control of his voice so he wouldn’t sound too hurt. Cas really wanted more than just sex.

“I think it might be snowing out there.” He said looking back to Dean.

“That’s fine, I’ll manage.” Dean got up and stretched. “I do hope to see you in my office next week, for help with math or, you know, anything else.” He winked to Cas.

Cas smiled softly and nodded. “Are you sure?” He looked out the blinds. “It’s coming down pretty hard out there.”

Dean came over and looked out the window. He frowned. “Yeah, it kinda is. Do you think Sam would ask too many questions if I didn’t go home tonight?”

Cas shrugged. “Just tell him you were helping me with math and then it was snowing too much.” He said.

Dean nodded. “Okay, that’s believable. Is it cool if I stay in bed with no cuddling? I don’t usually stay the night after hookups.”

Cas chewed at his lip and nodded. “Yeah, I guess I can do that.” He said, biting back the hurt.

“Great thanks.” Dean patted him on the back and ditched the condom in the trash, going to the bathroom and cleaning himself off.

Cas nodded and laid down, pulling the covers over him. He wanted to cuddle so bad. He really just didn’t want it just to be sexual.

Dean came back and crawled into bed beside Cas, looking to him with a smirk. “You look like you had a good night.” He said smiling.

Cas nodded. “Yeah, I did.” He said with a soft, fake smile.

“Does this mean you’ll be wanting a round 2 soon?” Dean raised an eyebrow.

Cas smiled and bit his lip, looking to Dean. “Maybe.”

“Mmmm don’t lie to me, I know you want more of me. You were moaning too loud to not want more of this.” Dean said confidently.

“I do.. I want way too much of you.” Cas said looking into Dean’s eyes.

Dean laughed a little and pulled the covers up over himself. “Don’t worry, I’ll fuck you good again soon.” Dean winked.

Cas nodded, realizing Dean just wanted sex from Cas, that he would just be a booty call at the most.

Dean yawned and stretched his arms. “Well I’m exhausted, gotta sleep. Night.” He said before turning to face away from Cas, pulling the blankets up further.

Cas sighed and rolled over to his other side, cuddling into the blankets. Dean fell asleep before Cas, snoring on the other side of the bed. Cas laid there for a few minutes longer, thinking before he slowly began to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave me kudos and comments with any thoughts about it so far. Let me know if I should continue!


	7. Deceit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas talks to Jess about Dean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is a little shorter. The next one should be longer.

Cas woke in the morning to an empty bed and sighed. Of course, Dean left, why would he stick around if all he wanted was sex? He looked on his night stand and saw a note. He smiled softly and went over to look at it.

_Call or text me when you want more ;) 416-452-8879_

Well, now he had Dean’s number, but it’s not like Dean wanted more than sex anyways. Cas didn’t know if he could do that, he would be too emotionally attached. But at least he’d have something with Dean. He grabbed his phone to put Dean’s number in it and saw he had a text from Jess.

_Dean just got home with some bullshit story about tutoring you then not wanting to walk home. Spill. -JM_

Cas smiled slightly at the text and debated telling her. But Dean did tell him not to tell Sam and if he told Jess Sam would end up knowing. He decided the best way to get to Dean was to do what he wanted. He really wanted to tell Jess so bad but he knew that she would tell Sam and that wouldn’t be good for Dean.

_Yeah, it was snowing so he just slept on the couch. -CN_

_Oh come on, is that really it? The man of your dreams comes over late at night after a long day of sexual tension and he just crashes on your couch? -JM_

_I mean I tried but he said he’s not gay and I’m pretty sure he isn’t. like I even gave him some beer and everything to loosen him up. -CN_

Cas felt bad for lying to his best friend since he’s always told her everything about how he was feeling and what was going on. But he really wanted to get closer to Dean and maybe get through to him, he liked him too much. He kinda wanted to fuck with Dean again, even if it was just sex at least he was doing something with him

_Damn, that’s rough. Sam’s still pretty positive he’s not straight though. Maybe just give him some time and keep trying? -JM_

_Yeah, I think I will…  I’m just so into him. Not just in the sexual way either. Yes, damn I’m into him in a sexual way, but I like him for more than just his ass. -CN_

_Awww haha, how sweet <3 Keep it up Romeo. He’d be lucky to have you. -JM_

_Whatever. I’d be lucky to have him -CN_

_Hopefully he’ll come around soon -JM_

_Yeah, I really hope so. -CN_

Cas was thinking about a different thing than Jess. He really wanted Dean to come around with the emotional part and not just want it to be sex anymore.

_At least now he’s seen how cute you are when you’re not stuck in a math class. -JM_

_I guess, but I don’t think he thinks I’m cute -CN_

_Don’t get discouraged, you’re off to a decent start. -JM_

_Thanks -CN_

__\-----

Jess put her phone down and cuddled up next to Sam. “Cas insists that nothing happened between them too. Do you believe that?” She asked quietly, looking up at him.

“Hmm. I don’t know.” Sam said furrowing his brows.

“I believe Cas, but I don’t think for one second that Dean’s idea of going over there with him was completely innocent. They really hit it off at dinner.” Jess said.

“Yeah I’m not sure about that either.” Sam replied. “I’m pretty sure Dean has slept with some guys before so what would be holding him back.”

“I don’t know.” Jess sighed. “How cute would it be if they became a thing? We could all be one big family.”

Sam chuckled and nodded. “Dean really needs someone.”

“Cas is a really good guy. I think he’d be good for Dean.” Jess said looking up to Sam.

“I think so too. He’d be great for him.” He said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure to leave comments and kudos to let me know you're still liking it!


	8. Help me out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas goes to Dean's office and gets some help before having a conversation with Dean.

Thanksgiving break finished quickly and soon enough Cas was back in class taking his quiz. Dean was sitting at his desk at the front of the classroom in front of his computer and Cas tried really hard to focus on the quiz and not Dean. He couldn’t help but glance up at Dean occasionally. Once he was done with his quiz he flipped it over and doodled on the back. He drew a picture for Dean with a small smile.

Class was dismissed and everyone went to the front of the room to stack their quizzes on Dean’s desk. Cas sat his on the pike and winked at Dean with a soft smile before heading out.

Cas went to his other classes and debated if he should text Dean or not. He really liked Dean and really wanted more but it wasn’t like he could hold back from the sex, it was really amazing.

He held his phone and rotated it in his hands, debating if he should text Dean when his phone buzzed. He looked at the message, surprised when it was Dean.

_Hey, it’s me. Stole your number off Sammy’s phone. Come to my office -DW_

Cas smiled at the text, happy that Dean was at least thinking of him when he wasn’t around. He hoped it wasn’t just for sex and that he wanted to talk about his quiz or something. He wouldn’t complain if it was sex, but… he just had to keep in mind that Dean didn’t want more than sex.

_Okay, I’ll be by when I’m done with class -CN_

_Okay, see you soon ;) -DW_

Cas’s class got out in 45 minutes and he went to Dean’s office, knocking on the door.

“Come in,” Dean answered from inside.

Cas opened the door and came in. “Hey..” He said.

“Hey.” He smiled. “I got your quiz. Your drawing too.”

“Oh… did I blotch it?” He asked, chewing at his lip nervously, he needed to do decent on this quiz.

“A little, yeah.” Dean said quietly.

Cas hung his head and rubbed at the back of his neck with a sigh. “Of course I did…”

Dean got up and slowly walked over to the door, closing and locking it. He walked back over to Cas and wrapped his hands around his waist, looking down into his eyes. “Do you think this is because you spend more time looking at me than your book?” He raised his eyebrow.

Cas blushed deeply. “Hey, I’m paying attention in class I promise.” He said looking to Dean.

“Mmmm you sure?” he smirked. “I see you checking me out instead of checking your answers.”

Cas nodded softly. “Maybe, maybe not.” He said looking up to dean. “I can’t help it.”

Dean slipped his fingers into Dean’s belt loops and pulled him closer, speaking softly. “Sounds like you weren’t being a very good student. I don’t know what you’re used to, but in my classroom, bad students are punished.”

“Oh are they?” Cas asked. “Maybe I could get a better grade huh...”

“Mmmm, maybe. But I’m not sure you’d learn your lesion if I just let you try again…”

“Maybe I can earn a better grade, be what you want me to.” Cas offered.

“We can talk about that later. Right now, I think you need to learn your lesson.”

Cas sighed and nodded. “Okay..” He replied.

Dean loosened his grip a little as his smirk turned into a frown. “You okay?”

Cas nodded. “Yeah, sorry, I just really needed to do good on that quiz. Am I going to pass?” He asked.

“Of course, I wouldn’t let you fail. Just wanted to play around and get a little rough today if that’s okay with you.” Dean said.

Cas chewed at his lip. “Is all you want from me sex?” He asked nervously.

Dean took a step back. “Yeah, why? I thought hooking up was all this was. Did you have something else in mind?” He asked.

Cas sighed and shook his head, putting on a fake smile. “Nope.” He lied.

“You sure?” Dean asked. “If you’re not feeling it today we don’t have to.”

“Maybe we can just go over my quiz real fast?” Cas asked, going over to his desk.

Dean nodded. “Yeah of course.” He said sitting down at his desk and pulling out Cas’s quiz. “School first. Sorry, sometimes I forget that.”

Cas gave Dean a soft smile. “It’s okay.” He said sitting down. He looked up at Dean through his eyelashes.

Dean met Cas’s eyes and flashed him a quick smile before looking down at the quiz and starting to go over it with Cas. Dean thoroughly explained what went wrong and how he should fix it, making notes on the paper for Cas to see. Cas was slowly starting to understand it a little.

After a while they had gotten though the entire quiz and Dean had taken a page of notes for Cas. “Do you think you understand it a bit better now?”

Cas nodded. “Yeah a little bit.” He said looking to Dean.

“I can boost your grade a little if you do full revisions and show you know on your own how to do it now. But otherwise, I’m sure you’ll do better on the next test.”

Cas nodded, a bit relieved. “Can I try that?” He asked.

“Of course, yeah.” Dean handed him a paper with similar questions. “Do you think you can solve these and get them back to me for next week?”

“I can try.” Cas said looking up to Dean.

“Okay good.” Dean said smiling and leaning a little closer to Cas. He lowered his voice. “Now, is there any other way you’d like to spend the rest of your time in my office?”

“Hmmm, well I have to pay you back for helping me out. And raising my grade.” Cas said pulling Dean closer and kissing him deeply.

Dean smiled against the kiss before pulling back. “You know you don’t _really_ have to give me anything, right? If you want to leave just say the word.”

“It’s okay,” Cas said. “It’s not like I don’t want you.”

“The important part is that you want me right now. I’m serious.”

Cas wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck and sighed slightly. “I want you, just not like this…”

Dean frowned. “I’m so sorry, was I too rough with you? I should have asked before getting you to come here and coming onto you so hard like that. I thought you’d be into some rougher stuff. I’m really sorry.” He apologized.

“No, Dean it’s fine I just…” He sighed and rested his head on his chest. “Nevermind..”

Dean looked down to Cas, not touching him back. “What is it then? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I thought we were both enjoying this arrangement and wanting it to continue.”

“I do I just…. I’m afraid I’m going to want more and you’re not going to.” He said honestly, pulling back and looking up to Dean as he worried his lip.

“Hey, I’m pretty much always up for sex. You don’t need to worry about wanting too much of me.” Dean said.

Cas sighed. “You don’t get it…” he rubbed a hand over his eyes. “..I really like you.. like a lot. I’m saying I’d want more than just sex. And if you’re not into that it’s okay, I’ll just have to get over it.” He said looking down.

“Oh….” Dean said quietly, slowly backing away from Cas, which broke him inside just a little more. “I um.. I’m sorry Cas. I’m really not gay and I uh, don’t do feelings. Not anymore. This is just… I have needs, you know? I’ve had a bit of a dry spell with women lately and you’re really into me… but it’s not gay right? I didn’t even touch your dick. If you want to keep hooking up, that’s great, I’d be happy to. But I can’t do more than that, I’m sorry.” Dean said rubbing the back of his neck.

Cas just looked down, a little stunned and surprised. He furrowed his brows and tried to hold back the tears, but they were in his eyes, threatening to spill over. “Dean I think you have a lot mixed up between what is gay and what isn’t. I mean.. you fucked me in the ass, you kissed me… I just-“ His voice cracked a little. “If you want sex still I can do that… I think you need to figure yourself out though.” He said looking down to hide the tears that were filing his eyes. “I gotta go.” He grabbed his books and papers and started shoving them into his bag.

“Cas I can’t be gay.” Dean said, distressed. “No friggin’ way. I love women. I mean, not in a _love_ lovey dovey crap way, I don’t do that for anyone, but they’re really sexy to me y’know? I can’t possibly be gay.”

“Well if I remember correctly you thought I was sexy moaning the way I was. You came in _my_ ass.” He said zipping up his backpack. “Have you ever heard of the term bisexual?” He asked sarcastically as he headed for the door.

“Bi what?” Dean asked confused.

“Bisexual. It’s when you’re into both men and women.” Cas said. “I gotta go.” Cas said opening the door and heading out of Dean’s office.

Dean went quiet and let Cas go, standing still in his office and going into deep thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it, It'll get better soon I promise. Leave me kudos and comments to let me know what you think! I love you guys!


	9. Dean's reasoning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Jess talk about Dean and things are revealed about why he is the way he is.

After the blow up with Dean Cas went home and got in sweats and a tee shirt, wanting to be lazy and sit at home. He made hot coco and sipped it as he sat on the couch and watched TV. His phone buzzed with a text from Jess.

_Hey! How was class with professor sexy? ;) -JM_

_Terrible. I couldn’t focus and bombed my quiz. -CN_

_Aw, I’m sorry bud. Did you at least ask him for more help? -JM_

_Yeah, he said I can do the questions over again. -CN_

At least out of everything he got that. And Dean said he wouldn’t let him fail, but that was before the whole argument.

_That’s good! You’ll be fine, there’s no way he’ll let you fail the class. Did you talk at all besides that? -JM_

_Not really, I told you he isn’t into me. -CN_ Cas replied with a lie on the first part, believing the second part.

_Even if he isn’t you can still have conversations. You’re like friends now. -JM_

_You should come over. He’ll be home from work in a little while. -JM_

_I don’t know… He’s really not into me and I have a lot of homework. -CN_

Cas was afraid that if he saw Dean it would just make things worse. If not for Dean, it would put him in a worse spot. He was already hurt from it he didn’t need to make the situation harder.

_Can I at least come to you then? You seem upset. -JM_

Cas was afraid that if she came over he would spill the beans. But he was upset and Jess would cheer him up and help him out.

_Sure, I just gotta get some homework done. -CN_

Cas sat back on the couch and sighed. He really hoped he didn’t just spill and tell her everything. It was easy to lie to her through text but once in person she would get it out of him. He didn’t want to make the whole situation with Dean worse, he knew it could get worse and he didn’t want that.

Not much later Jess showed up at the door. “Hey Cassie.” She smiled and hugged Cas.

“Hey, come in.” Cas said, shivering a little at the cold. He looked out the door at the snow as he closed it behind her.

“Shit it’s cold out there.” Jess said hanging her coat, hat and scarf up.

Cas nodded. “Really cold.” He said pulling the blanket up over them and huddling in close for warmth, Jess felt really cold.

“So what’s going on?” She asked and looked to Cas with inviting eyes.

Cas sighed. “Just… It’s complicated. But he’s not into me… well he is but he’s not.” He said

“What do you mean?” She asked, looking to him.

Cas ran his hands through his hair nervously and looked to Jess. “You can’t tell Sam anything. And you can’t say anything to dean either. Got it? Promise on your life?” He asked.

“Oh my god did something happen? Of course I won’t say anything, just what is it?” Jess asked excitedly.

Cas nodded. “It's a lot and it's complicated but holy fuck his dick is huge." Cas said grinning widely. "We came back here and really did work on homework. But then he asked me what I was thinking and I said I couldn't say. So he told me to show him so I just.. I just kissed him. And his lips are like heaven." He blushed slightly. "We kissed a lot and it just kinda happened." Cas said.

Jess squealed and grabbed onto him excitedly. “I knew it!!! Did you guys go all the way?”

Cas blushed and nodded. "Yeah. And oh god it was great. But then after I tried to cuddle with him but he totally shot me down and was being awkward. I woke up in the morning and he was gone. Then after class he told me to go to his office and I did and we talked and it's just... a messy situation."

Jess’s gin turned into a frown. “What’d he say to you today?”

"Well he told me I didn't have to do anything with him if I didn't want to and I said I want to, but too much, I want more than just sex and he said he doesn't do relationships, with anyone. And that he's not gay because he likes girls still. So I informed him of what bisexual means and told him to figure himself out and let me know." He sighed. "But even if he is bi it's not like he'll ever want more from me."

Jess pulled Cas into a warm hug. “I’m sorry Cas. I think I know what he’s doing here. There’s some stuff about him that you don’t know.”

Cas furrowed his brows. “What stuff?” He asked.

Jess sighed quietly and sat back. "Don't tell him I told you this, and I only know because Sam tells me everything. Their dad was not a good man.  He died years ago but he was abusive when they were kids. Dean got the brunt of it and has always been toxic masculinity personified to compensate for that in his mind. A few years back he was with a girl that he was so totally in love with that he wanted to marry her. Instead, she totally broke his heart and ended up dying in a car accident shortly after. Pile that trauma on top of some internalized homophobia probably passed down from his dad and you get a guy terrified to come to terms with his sexuality who doesn't want to let himself get attached to anyone ever again."

Cas’s eyes widened a little and his heart hurt for Dean. That was a lot of shit to have to go through. He understood now, at least a little bit. How Dean is so closed off and so set on not being gay. "Wow, that's a lot. How do I even... how do you get him out of that? I really, _really_ like him and I'm willing to try." Cas sighed again. "That sucks so much that he had to go through that.”

She shrugged “I’m sorry. I have no idea… At least you taught him what bisexuality is. That might be a start.”

Cas nodded and rubbed his eyes with a groan. “Why do I have to like him so much?”

She shrugged again. “He’s a good guy. Handsome. Apparently well-endowed too.” She elbowed him playfully. “Which runs in the family” she raised her eyebrows.

Cas bit his lip, thinking about Dean’s dick. “Dude… Uh he’s so thick. Ugh, god he’s so sexy.” He said leaning his head back against the couch.

“Hey.” She said sternly but with a smile. “If you get a boner right here I’ll leave.” She threatened.

Cas chuckled. “I might, I mean he is heavenly.” He said.

Jess picked up a pillow and hit Cas with it. “C’mon, I’m not this explicit with you about Sam!”

Cas laughed. “Okay, okay I can’t help it.” He said getting more comfortable under the blanket with Jess.

“So, what do you think you’re going to do about Dean?” You should make a plan for when he next talks to you.”

“I don’t know, I think he needs to figure himself out first.” Cas sighed.

“Yeah definitely. I mean for when he does, know what you’d say to him about the thing you guys have going on. Like if he decides he only wants sex, wants this to end, or start an emotional relationship with you. You have to prepare yourself for whatever he ends up deciding about you.”

 “I know I just…” he sighed. “I mean if he decides its over there’s not much I can do. I doubt he wants a relationship and if he wants sex I kinda can’t hold back and not have sex with him… he’s too good.”

Jess chuckled. “Would you be okay if that’s what he wanted? Just sex and nothing else?”

“Not really, but maybe someday it could turn into more? Maybe I could convince him to do friends with benefits and then just get my way out of it. Or maybe he’ll fall for me or something.” He sighed. “Who am I to think he’ll like me… He won’t like me.”

Jess slung an arm around him and hugged him softly. “It is a bit of a long shot, he’s a tough one, but you can still try. Please don’t force yourself into keeping the sexual part in an attempt to establish a romantic side though, okay? Only keep doing what you’re doing if you really want it too.”

Cas nodded. “I don’t think I’d be able to stop though. Because with sex at least I get something with him.”

“You have to tell if it’s too much though, okay?”

Cas nodded. “Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure to leave me kudos and comments. Let me know what you think about this chapter and what you think Cas should do. Love you guys!!


	10. Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas invites Dean over for dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is so short, the next one should be longer and filled with emotion!

The days went by slow with no word from Dean. Cas received an email saying that class was being cancelled, but that was it. It was odd that Dean would cancel class, he hadn’t done that before and at the beginning of the semester he said that he didn’t usually do it. He wondered what was up with Dean but worked on the assignment that Dean had given him to make up for the quiz. He hoped he didn’t do them wrong.

The next time Cas went to class Dean seemed off. He showed them a tutorial video and gave them an assignment to do quietly. It was odd, it was as though Dean’s passion for the subject was gone and he was just quiet. Once class was out and everyone had put their assignments on his desk and filtered out Cas went to the front of the room where Dean was. He looked to Dean before getting out the assignment for his quiz. “Do you want this now or should I come by your office hours?” He asked softly.

“Come by later.” Dean said keeping his eyes down. “We have to talk.”

Cas nodded. “Would you want to do it outside of office hours? Maybe you could come by my place?” He asked. He wished he could tell Dean that he understood, that it would be okay if he just let him help. He wished he could snap him out of this loop he was stuck in but he couldn’t.

“Yeah, that sounds great actually. Thanks.” Dean replied.

Cas nodded. “Okay I’ll see you. Oh, and come hungry.” Cas said before leaving Dean’s classroom. He wished that Dean had looked up and talked to him before he left. He wished he was able to connect with him in some way. He really hoped that tonight went better than this afternoon went.

**\-----**

Once Cas got home he called Jess to figure out what Dean’s favorite food was. Once he found out that Dean really liked burgers he decided that that would be easy enough and to just make that, and that he should make some pie as well. He got stuff from the store and started on the pie from scratch. He finished it and stuck it in the oven. He nervously tidied up his apartment. He really hoped that things would go well tonight and that Dean’s wanting to talk was all good.

Cas was in the middle of wiping down the counters for the second time when he heard a knock at the door. He looked down to his clothes and adjusted them slightly before going to the door and opening it. He smiled when he saw Dean on the other side of the door.

“Hey, come in.” He said opening the door more for Dean and smiling. The pie was close to being done and his apartment was starting to smell like it.

Dean came in and hung up his coat before he stopped in his tracks. “Is that pie I smell?” He asked, looking at Cas.

Cas smiled slightly and nodded. “I heard you liked it.” He said closing the door.

“Oh yeah? Sammy or Jess?” Dean asked with an amused look on his face.

Cas raised his eyebrows. “You actually. On Thanksgiving I saw the way you were eating it. But the burgers were all Jess.” He said smiling.

Dean nodded, a tiny smile appearing on his face. “That’s right, I almost forgot you saw me stuffing my face. And did I just hear you say you made burgers too?”

“Well not yet. I figured you’d like them better fresh.” Cas said with a smile as he slipped past Dean and went further into his apartment. “We can start on them now if you want?” he said softly.

“You are actually the greatest. Yes.” Dean replied.

Cas blushed softly, a small smile spreading across his lips. “Thanks.” He said he went to the fridge and got the stuff out. He started cooking the burgers on the stove and looked to Dean at the dining table with a smile.

Once Cas finished the burgers he looked over to Dean. “Wanna come dress your bun?” He asked.

Dean nodded. “Yeah, coming.”  He said and went over to the counter. He put his stuff and put it on the bun and then held the plate over to Cas. “Ready when you are.” He said with a small smile.

Cas smiled and put the burger with bacon and cheese on Dean’s bun. He got his ready as well and went to sit at the table by Dean. It was quiet and kinda awkward but Cas wanted to avoid the obvious “I hope you like it.” Cas said looking to Dean with a small smile.

Dean took a big bite of his burger. He tried to speak through his mouthful of food, it coming out muffled. “Oh sweet Jesus.” He half moaned.

Cas chuckled softly. “What?” He asked with a grin.

Dean swallowed and wiped at his mouth. “Good shit.” He clarified.

Cas’s grin widened at Dean’s response. “I’m glad you think so.” He said softly. He couldn’t help but take a little pride in his work. They continued eating in silence and Cas grew more and more nervous about what Dean was going to say about what they talked about earlier that day.

Once they finished their burgers and were still sitting there quietly Cas got up and grabbed both their plates to put them in the sink. “Want some pie?” He asked softly, knowing that it was done.

“Yes please.” Dean said wiping his mouth off.

Cas smiled softly. “Okay.” He said getting the pie out of the oven and starting to cut the pie he worked so hard on.

He got two pieces and dished them up, handing Dean a piece and sitting down next to him. “Here you go.” He said softly as he sat. It was awkward with it being so quiet. Cas really hoped it got better soon and that Dean would start talking. Or maybe Dean had bad news for him and was just avoiding letting him down.

“Thanks.” Dean said and got straight to work on his slice of pie.

Cas nodded and sighed softly, going to eat his pie as well.

Dean looked over to Cas at the sigh. “You okay?” He asked.

Cas looked back to Dean and nodded. “You’re just quiet.” He said chewing at his lip nervously.

“Yeah… sorry…” Dean said softly, looking down.

“Are _you_ okay?” Cas asked, looking to Dean and hoping that he was okay. Dean paused though, and It was killing Cas.

“Fine.” He finally said quietly, obviously lying.

Cas sighed. “No you’re not.” He said sitting his pie aside and getting up. He went to do the dishes, cleaning up from dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long. I'm back to work and class starts tomorrow so it's going to slow me down. It'll take me a little longer to get the chapters out but I'll still be working on it. Leave me kudos and comments to keep me motivated. Let me know your thoughts. Love you guys!!


	11. The talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean have a long overdue talk.

“I’m sorry.” Dean said quietly. “I’m not good at this.”

Cas sighed, thinking about Dean’s past. Maybe he should be more understanding with him. “It’s okay.” He said. “I’ll go get my assignment.” He added before heading to his room to get it.

“I think I’m bi.” Dean blurted out, stopping Cas in his tracks.

He stopped and looked over to Dean. “Really?” He asked, hope glistening in his eyes. Dean just nodded quietly and looked down, but Cas was grinning from ear to ear. He went over to dean and kissed him passionately. He stopped though, when Dean didn’t reciprocate. It hurt that he didn’t but Cas knew Dean was still trying to figure things out. He pulled back and looked to Dean with a soft smile. “That’s awesome.”

“Yeah, um… I didn’t know that other things exist before you mentioned it. But I did my research and that really sounds most like me.” Dean said rubbing the back of his neck.

Cas frowned slightly at the way Dean was reacting. He seemed insecure and unsure. What happened to the confident Dean that he had been seeing? The one that knew what he wanted and that others wanted him. The one that knew for sure Cas wanted a sexual relationship. “Okay, well I’m glad you figured it out.” He said sitting down next to Dean.

“But it’s like, this is really new and weird for me. You know? I always thought that it was either gay or straight and that’s it. And that if you’re gay and come across people like my dad you wouldn’t make it out alive.” Dean said quietly.

Cas nodded, wanting to reach out and hold Dean’s hand to reassure him that it would be okay. It was surprising to Cas that Dean was already starting to open up to him. “It takes some getting used to that’s for sure. When I came out to my parents they disowned me. My parents were really rich too. They kicked me out and I was on my own.” He said, letting Dean know that he can relate. “What was your dad like? Or your mom?” He asked, wondering if he would continue to open up or not.

Dean frowned. “I’m really sorry man. I don’t know. It seems like you’ve done pretty well for yourself, at least.” Dean avoided the question.

Cas shrugged. “I do the best I can. That’s why I’m in such a crappy, small apartment.” He said looking to Dean. He looked down to his hand and decided to go for it. He reached down and grabbed Dean’s hand gently, giving him a soft smile. “Come with me.” He said getting up and leading Dean to the couch where they could be more comfortable. Maybe if Dean was more comfortable he would talk more.

“It’s still a place. I didn’t always have a roof over my head when I was a teen and later young adult like you.” Dean responded as they sat down.

“Really?” He asked, still holding Dean’s hand cautiously. He didn’t want to make him uncomfortable but he wanted to challenge him a little. “Why?” He asked, sitting close to Dean.

Dean slowly and awkwardly slid his hand out of Cas’s, which caused him to frown slightly. "Dad was pretty clear that he hated me. Sam was the good one with the promising future and I was the dumb problem child.” Dean kept up the conversation. “ I tried as best I could to keep him happy but we always ended up fighting anyway, which sometimes ended with him kicking me out for a week or two. I'd come back that night and steal his car so I'd have something to work with. Even started keeping a bag of supplies hidden under the floor of the back seat. It still wasn't good, though. He actually did care about Sam but I was the one who was always taking care of him. But instead of being there for him I kept getting myself kicked out onto the streets."

Cas listened to Dean and let him talk it out. He was glad dean was opening up about his past to him because what he heard it was only Sam that knew about it. This was a big step for Dean, and Cas was proud of him for it. “Damn, that’s rough. How often would you be kicked out?” He asked. He mostly wanted to be there for Dean and let him say whatever he felt comfortable saying. He inched his way a little closer to Dean, wanting to comfort him physically as well. “And how is it that you became so amazing?”

Dean shrugged. “About once every two months for about a week or so. And you flatter me, but I’m really not that great.”

Cas shook his head eagerly. “No, Dean you are amazing. You were on your own and you made it in life. You’re an amazing professor, you care about your students, you truly are awesome.” He said inching closer again.

Dean cracked a small smile for a short second. “Thanks, but I’m really not. I’m kind of a mess and you know that now.”

Cas shook his head. “Your past doesn’t make you messed up. Dean you’re an awesome person. You should let yourself have happiness again.” He wondered when Dean would open up about his fiancé that broke his heart. He couldn’t help but pry a little to see if Dean would talk.

“I haven’t been happy in a long time, Cas. And I’m not totally comfortable with this whole bi thing yet.”

Cas nodded. “I know, it takes some time. You just have to take it slow, one step at a time.”

“It’s just… weird. Why did no one tell me this was a thing sooner?” Dean held his head in his hands.

“Have you been with very many guys before?” Cas asked as he inched a little closer again.

“Hooked up with three before you. All pretty drunk, all at least a little regrettable.” Dean laughed a little, pitifully.

Cas bit at his lip. “Am I one of those regrettable ones?” He asked, curious what the answer would be and a little anxious about it.

Dean looked to Cas. “No. Not at all. You’re a bit different. I’ve actually thought you were really cute for a while. And now that I know how good you are in bed, I genuinely want more of this. Every other guy was a one-time thing.”

Cas couldn’t help but smile at that. Dean thought he was cute? Really? How come he never said anything? “Is it still just about sex?”

“Us, you mean? Yeah. Look, I’m really sorry Cas. I know you have a bit of a crush on me, but I told you I don’t do feelings. It’s nothing personal, just a me thing. You’ll find someone better and get yourself a good boyfriend someday. Bur for now if you want to keep up this friends with benefits kinda thing we have going on, I’d be happy to stick with it.”

Oh. Great, being shot down again. Cas sighed and looked down. Of course Dean still didn’t want to be with him. No one ever wanted to be with him, he should be used to this by now, plenty of people have rejected him like this. “It’s okay… I get it.” He said with a sigh. It was so embarrassing that he was so into this when Dean really wasn’t. Cas felt Dean’s hand appear on his shoulder.

“I really am sorry. I promise it has nothing to do with you. I’ll never let myself catch feelings for anyone. You deserve better anyway.”

“I think you’re the best I could ever get. It’s okay if you’re not into me.” Cas said with a sigh, not looking up to Dean.

“Hey, I’m very into you. You’re gorgeous and super hot, but then you’re also really sweet and easy to talk to. Sex is all I can do. I’m no good for you otherwise. There are plenty of people who could give you both and they’d be lucky to have you.”

Cas rubbed at his neck. “If I’m easy to talk to than why don’t you just try? I won’t hurt you. Trust me. I won’t leave you ever.” He said looking up to Dean.

“Because I told you, feelings aren’t my thing, Cas. I can easily see that you’re an objectively good person. But that doesn’t make me want to be your boyfriend or something. And for you, that’s not really a good way to go about things, to be honest. I fuck up a lot. Many other people do too. Sometimes it’s too much and you have to be ready to leave them. Don’t let people use you.”

Cas sighed and looked down, getting insecure. “I just… what if we tried?” He sighed again. “No one ever wants me.” He said under his breath and mostly to himself. It was true. No one ever wanted more from Cas. He was just a good lay.

“Cas I’m sorry. But please don’t try to guilt me into this. You’re a great guy but I promised myself I’d never get feelings for anyone ever again. Seriously, it’s nothing personal, just me.” Dean said.

Cas frowned and furrowed his brows. “I’m not trying to guilt you Dean it’s the truth. I’m good for sex and that’s it. No one has ever wanted more and no one ever will. You can go if you want to. There’s no reason for you to stay here with me.” He said looking away and blinking away his few tears. Why would anyone ever shut themselves off like Dean is? Just not love anyone ever again. How could you just stop that? And why would you want to? Cas wanted to love someone so bad but really, no one wanted that with him. He has tried plenty of times but no one wants him.

“I don’t want to leave you here mad at me. And I want to talk to you. I’ve never gotten to have conversations like this. But people can’t like me the way you do. I can’t handle the pressure and they always end up leaving me.” Dean said.

“But I wont leave you dean. I’ve said that, the only way I’ll stop is if you don’t want me to continue. If you feel like this is the first time you felt like you can talk to someone than maybe I’m the one to try with. I just think you deserve to feel and love.” Cas said looking up to Dean.

“But Cas I’m no good for you. And this whole ‘bi’ thing, I don’t know how to deal with it. I know it’s probably just the way things are for me, but actually dating a guy? I don’t date anyone and that’s one step further that as of right now I’m uncomfortable with.

Cas sighed and looked back down. “I just think you deserve so much.” Which he did. He really thought that Dean deserved more, even more than he could offer, but he was a good place to start at least.

“Sorry to disappoint, but you’re wrong about that.” Dean sighed

Cas shook his head and looked back up to him. “Dean you deserve the world.”

“Thanks for the compliment but I really don’t. Just gonna have unattached sex ‘til I die and I’m totally okay with that.”

“Why though? Why do you think you don’t deserve love? Isn’t that just the same thing as me saying I don’t deserve it?” Cas asked, making a good point.

Dean looked to Cas. “No, because You’re young and attractive and sweet and I just fuck everything up. I’ll be happy to keep having sex with you, that might actually help me keep figuring things out, but I’m not ready for a relationship. Don’t think I’ll ever be, to be perfectly honest.”

Cas sighed and looked back down. He just wanted something more with Dean so badly. “I don’t know how long I can keep it up if you’ll never be ready… just…” He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry then.” He said quietly. “Do you want this to stop completely?”

Cas sighed. “I don’t know… just…. I want you right now.” He wanted to be held but the best he had was to just have sex with Dean, to just have him like that. He leaned over and kissed Dean softly.


	12. Hand Me the Bottle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas gets Dean to open up, but only after he loosens him up with some booze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I'm so sorry it is taking me this long on this. My life has just been a little hectic lately. I'm taking 18 credits and getting ready to apply to the Social Work program at my school. It's really competitive at my school and is taking up a lot of my time. I'm trying really hard to continue on this story! I love you guys!

Cas kissed Dean deeply and moved closer to him, humming against his lips. The kiss intensified and after a few minutes Cas had to pull back to catch his breath. He rested his forehead against Dean’s with a gentle smile.

Dean took a breath. “You sure you want to keep doing this? Even though the no attachments thing bothers you? Is it okay that we’re just friends?”

Cas sighed softly and moved to sit next to Dean. He leaned his head against Dean’s shoulder. “I don’t know Dean… As long as we can be friends I guess… I really want to be your friend.” He said.

“I can definitely do that. With or without benefits?” Dean asked looking to Castel.

Cas sighed. “I dunno… I dunno.” He said shifting to get more comfortable. He really didn’t know what he wanted right now. He knew he liked Dean and wanted more than what he could offer but he didn’t know if what he could offer would be enough. “Can’t we just take it one day at a time? I really don’t know what I want right now.”

“Yeah, of course. Don’t do anything you don’t want to. If you want me to leave, I’ll leave.”

“I want you to stay. Just like this.” He said, pleased with the fact that he was slightly cuddling with Dean. It was an accomplishment for him. “Let’s talk some more.” He kissed at Dean’s neck.

Dean twitched slightly at the attention. “Uh okay… what about?” he asked.

Cas shrugged slightly. “anything. Tell me about your mom. You haven’t told me anything about her yet.” He said looking up to Dean.

“Yeah,” Dean said quietly. “Probably because she died when I was little and I don’t have too many memories of her.”

“Oh really?” Cas said shifting against Dean and looking up to him with sympathy. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.” He said, feeling bad he brought it up.

“It’s fine,” he shrugged. “I miss her but it’s not like I can do anything about it.”

“I know but it still sucks. I couldn’t imagine growing up without my mom.” Cas said looking to Dean.

“What’s yours like then?” Dean asked quietly.

“She’s sweet and understanding. I love her so much. She always helped me out with anything I needed… When I came out to my parents my dad disowned me and she tried to convince him to give me a chance but he… He wasn’t up for that. He doesn’t even talk to me but she calls sometimes to catch up.” He said looking up to Dean.

Dean nodded. “That’s good that you have someone.” He said softly

“I guess… all my brothers and sisters hate me… I guess all but one of them.” He said before kissing Dean’s neck to distract himself.

“They homophobic too or just plain terrible?” He asked.

“A combination of the two.” Cas said shifting and smiling at the fact that he was successfully cuddling with Dean.

Dean shifted uncomfortably and stayed tense, not knowing what to do with the affection. “That sucks… I’m sorry.” He said

Cas noticed Dean was still a little tense and he tried to get him to relax and have it feel more natural for Dean. He kissed his neck again, thinking that maybe if he made it seem more like he was seducing him he would be able to relax. “It’s okay.” He said against his neck.

Dean shied away a little. “I’m sorry, this is just weird to me.”

Cas should have been a little prepared for this but he wanted badly to just be able to cuddle Dean. He bit his lip and pulled away. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, just wanted to try… never mind…. Sorry.” Cas said scooting away from Dean.

“No, it’s my fault. Sorry I’m so weird about anything but sex.” Dean sighed.

“It’s okay. I just think maybe you could just get used to it.” He said before biting his lip, instantly feeling bad for saying it.

“I know it’s just… I haven’t been touched in a non-sexual context in a long time, and never by a dude, so it’s weird.”

“I know… you just, gotta start somewhere right?” He asked.

“Yeah it’s just… I don’t think I ever want to get back into real relationships, you know?”

Cas nodded with a sigh. “Sorry I made you uncomfortable.”

“It’s fine, I’m just real fucked up.” He said quietly.

“No, you’re not Dean.” Cas said kissing him again.

Dean returned it but only for a second before quickly pulling away. “I really am. I can’t even handle holding hands with someone without getting uncomfortable.”

“Well I’m sure you’d get used to it if you wanted to.” Cas said pulling back and sitting against the couch, giving some distance between him and Dean again.

“That’s the problem though. I don’t think I want to.” Dean said.

Cas nodded. “Sure, I get it.” He said with a sigh. It was him… no one ever wanted him. And he tried not to take it personally but this happened every time. He would fall head over heels for someone and he would never mean anything to them. And he always ended up heartbroken.

“But also, I just need to ask you-why do you even like me? In class, I always just thought you wanted to get with me. I mean, I know that I’m pretty good looking, but I never thought you wanted anything more than that.” He said.

“Because I see how passionate you are about things. About math. And since getting with you I’ve been able to see who you really are and I really, really like you.” He blushed deeply. “You’re amazing Dean. You really are. I wish I could show you how great you are.”

“But why? I’m just a math teacher with a shitty childhood and commitment issues.”

“But you’re capable of so much. And you care so much about students and if they make it or not. And your brother and Jess… you care so much about them. And you took care of them so well.” He said leaning over and kissing Dean’s cheek.

Dean blushed a little, shying away a bit at first before forcing himself to accept the kiss.

“You are really amazing Dean. And I wish there was a way for me to show you how great you are.” He said. “I wish I could convince you of how much you’re worth and how much you deserve.”

“Sorry to disappoint,” He said quietly. “It’s kinda drilled in there that I don’t really have much worth.” He sighed. “I’m sorry, do you have any beer? This is taking a lot out of me.”

Cas nodded. "Yeah, sorry I know this would be hard with your past." He said getting up. He went and grabbed a bottle of whiskey, some glasses and a beer. He came back and put them on the table, grabbing a blanket and pulling it on him. "Just so you know you are worth so much and I will try my hardest to let you know how much you are worth." He said kissing dean's cheek before asking. "Do you still want the beer or do you want some whiskey?" 

“No, whiskey is great actually. The stronger the better.”

Cas nodded. “That’s what I figured.” He said pouring some in both cups and handing one to Dean. “Sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable with everything. I just… I don’t want to sound desperate or creepy or anything but I really like you… a lot…” he sighed and blushed really deeply.

“I figured that much.” Dean said taking a big gulp.

Cas looked down. “Sorry if I come on strong. Usually I’m not this way, it’s just something about you… I can’t hold back. Hell, you saw me at Thanksgiving.” He said with a chuckle.

“It’s okay, I get that I’m super hot.” He joked.

Cas chuckled. “You are.” He agreed and took a drink.

Dean immediately poured himself another shot and drank it down. Cas bit his lip and sighed. Well maybe this would at least get Dean to relax more.

Dean took a deep breath and laid back against the couch. “So what else do you want to know?” He asked.

“Uh… what was the last relationship you had?” He asked, wondering if he could get Dean to open up a little about that.

Dean immediately took another shot, not saying anything, making Cas more nervous. He chewed at his lip. Maybe he went too far this time, pushed too hard…

Dean sighed and leaned back against the couch. “It was good until she showed me what she really thought about me.”

Cas furrowed his brow slightly. Jess didn’t mention anything about this, just that he was going to propose but she died. “What do you mean by that?” He asked, hoping he’d talk some more.

“I loved her, and she only pretended to love me.” He shrugged.

“Really? So, what happened?” He asked curiously.

Dean spoke quietly. “We were on for a year, living together and everything. What I didn’t know was that she was cheating on me with every guy under the sun and only liked me for my body. If that’s all I’m good for then that’s all anyone will ever get.”

Cas sighed. “Dean you’re worth so much more than your body. Yes, you do have a very nice body, but I know your heart is very big and you have so much potential.” He said looking to Dean. “I’m so sorry you were put in such a terrible situation with a terrible person.”

Dean sighed. “I just really thought she was the exception to everyone else I’d ever met and actually cared about me.”

Cas really wished he could be that exception. “I’m sure there are other people who would love you and care about you. You just have to let them in.”

“I don’t want to waste my time if I’m just going to be disappointed again.” He said pitifully.

“If it were me I would try my hardest not to disappoint you.” He said honestly, taking a chance. Dean just looked to Cas quietly for a while and Cas swore his heart was going to beat out of his chest. Then Dean just turned away and took another drink. Cas sighed, his thoughts going everywhere.

“I don’t even know how to hold up a relationship with a girl, never mind a dude.”

“You gotta give it a shot though Dean.” Cas said softly. “You gotta start somewhere. And if you find the right person they won’t disappoint and they can help you through it.” He said and once again Dean was quiet.

“Mmm Dad would be pissed if he mmm saw me now.” Dean said, the whiskey obviously kicking in.

“Your dad can’t do anything to you now Dean.” Cas said.

“Mmm doesn’t matter,” he slurred. “He’d still hate me.”

Cas nodded. “Well screw what he thinks. There’s more people who care about you.”

“They’ll all leave too.” He covered his face with his hands.

Cas shook his head. “Sam and Jess are still here, Ellen and Bobby… Kevin and benny… Me… I’m still here Dean.” Cas said.

Dean reached for another shot and sipped it slowly. “Y-you just got here. You’ll get sick of me.”

Cas shook his head. “No I won’t Dean. I could be loyal if I was ever given the chance.” He said.

Dean shook his head. “You wouldn’t stay.”

“Yes, I would Dean.” Cas said.

“Nooo, you’re too sweet for me. Y-you’ll get someone better.” He slurred.

Cas chuckled. “No I wouldn’t Dean. Trust me.”

Dean clapped a hand on Cas’s shoulder. “Mmm I don’t trust nobody, I just think you’re really cute.”

Cas nodded, chewing his lip.

“You’re like, reallllyyy cute though,” Dean scooted closer and wrapped Cas in his arms.

Cas blushed deeply. Dean was showing affection…. Where did that come from? He smiled softly but tried to hide it. “Glad you think so, but there is more to me than that.”

“I knowwwww, you’re really sweet and smart. And sweet too,” He relaxed into Cas.

So the trick to getting Dean to cuddle was to get him drunk. But he didn’t want him drunk enough he wouldn’t remember this. He wrapped an arm around Dean’s chest. “Thanks.”

Dean reached up and kissed Cas’s neck once, twice, three times and then paused. “I reallllyy like you.”

 Cas chuckled. “No you don’t Dean.”

“Mmmm yeah I do.” He snuggled up closer. “Just d-don’t tell Cas. He needs a better boy and ima always be alone.”

Cas furrowed his brows. “Dean I am Cas.” He said. Great, Dean must already be past the point of remembering.

Dean looked up at him and laughed a little. “Heyyy Casss.” He held onto him tighter and buried his face in his neck.

Cas wrapped his arm around dean and rubbed his back. “You’re pretty drunk, we should get you to bed.” He said.

“Mmm no,” He held on tighter and kissed Cas’s jaw repeatedly, trying to find his lips. “Wanna kiss you instead.”

“I don’t want to take advantage.” Cas said. He wanted to enjoy the cuddles but he also wanted to gain Dean’s trust. “C’mon let’s go to bed.” He said.

Dean groaned. “Mmm.. I’m not tired.”

“Well let’s go lay down.” Cas said starting to get up.

Dean grabbed onto his arm tightly. “No!” He exclaimed in distress. “Please don’t leave me too, you said you wouldn’t leave me.”

“I won’t leave you Dean. I’m coming with you.” He said and held Dean’s hand as he lead him to his room.

“Ok…” Dean stumbled as he got up but carefully followed Cas into his room.

Cas helped Dean into the bed and kissed his cheek. He pulled Dean’s shoes off for him. “Do you want some sweats?” He asked.

Dean shook his head. “Pants are overrated.”

“Okay…” He said helping Dean out of them. He changed into sweats and laid down next to Dean, pulling the blankets on them.

Dean immediately curled up with Cas, pulling him close. He laughed quietly. “You’re all warm and cozy.”

Cas nodded. “And you’re drunk and cuddly.” He said. “I really don’t want to take advantage of you Dean. Sober you would get upset and I don’t want that.”

“I just wanna hug youu.” He whined.

“I know and I want you to hug me but when you’re sober.”

Dean groaned and pushed himself up against Cas, resting his head on his chest and fell asleep quickly.

Cas let Dean fall asleep before falling asleep as well, hoping Dean wouldn’t be upset in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys think!


	13. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean talk in the morning.

Dean woke up with his arms wrapped around Cas’s middle, confused and immediately feeling a painful headache from all the booze he had the night before. He took the situation in for a moment before sighing quietly and closing his eyes again, staying cuddled against Cas. Cas’s arms tightened around him but he seemed to still be asleep. Dean let himself calm down enough to doze back off for a bit, not fully sleeping but resting.

Cas slowly began to wake. He smile softly when he felt Dean’s arms wrapped around him. He couldn’t help but smile, Dean was cuddling him and technically he wasn’t drunk anymore. He kissed Dean’s forehead softly and brushed his hair back.

Dean jumped slightly, realizing Cas was awake and moving off him to lay beside him instead. “Hey.”  He said quietly.

Cas furrowed his brows slightly at that. So dean was cuddling him until he thought Cas would notice? Did he really want to do this but maybe was just scared of what others would think? This at least made Cas a little more hopeful. Maybe he could work with Dean on this. “Morning. How’d you sleep?” He asked.

Dean stretched out his arms and yawned. “Alright I guess. My head is killing me.”

“Yeah, you drank quite a bit. Do you want some medicine?” He asked sitting up. He smiled softly at the thought of how adorable Dean was last night. How cuddly and comfortable he was. Cas liked it he just wished he didn’t have to get Dean drunk to get that way.

“Sorry.” He rubbed his eyes. “I didn’t mean to get as wasted as I did.”

“It’s okay.” Cas said softly, grinning a little. “You were sweet.”

Dean laughed a little. “What am I, a cute drunk?”

Cas nodded with a smile. “Yeah, you were adorable.” He said with a big grin. “You told me you thought that _Cas_ was reallllyyyy cure but not to tell him.” He chuckled. “And you were really cuddly.”

Dean covered his face with his hands and groaned. “Sorry about that.”

“Don’t be sorry Dean. I really liked it. And so did you.” He said pulling Dean’s hands away from his face. “It was really adorable.”

Dean blushed lightly. “It’s just… you know I’m not really like that right? Drunk me is weird.”

Cas nodded. “You were cuddling with me this morning and you’re sober now… I think you really want to have this but you’re holding yourself back.” He said

“I was still asleep.” He said quickly in defense. “I didn’t know I was doing it.”

Cas chuckled. “Okay Dean you tell yourself that but I know you want that and you’re just holding back.”

Dean stuttered. “I-I was j-just drunk, and now hungover. That’s different from really wanting something.”

“Dean have you ever heard of when you get people drunk their true feelings come out? That happens a lot with people.”

“Not true I don’t have feelings.” Dean said.

“I’m sure you do Dean, you just don’t know it.” He said

Dean sighed and went silent for a moment. “Do you have any pain killers?”

Cas nodded and got up, going into the kitchen. He sighed when he got there and paused. Why couldn’t Dean just let himself have this? Why didn’t he want to be happy? He got the medicine and went back to Dean’s room. Dean took the pills and sat there in silence. It was awkward. “I really didn’t mean to take advantage of you last night… I tried not to.”

“Don’t worry. You didn’t.” Dean said quietly. “I don’t remember a lot of last night but it’s enough. I don’t blame you at all.”

Cas nodded. “Do you want breakfast? There’s still some more pie.”

“Always.” He pulled himself together and stood up, stretching.

Cas nodded. “I think I have more bacon. And I can make waffles?” He suggested.

“That’d actually be awesome,” He said with a small smile.

Cas nodded and went to the kitchen to make breakfast. Dean followed behind him and sat down at the table. “Thanks.” He said.

“Yeah..” Cas said softly and made waffles.

“I mean it. You’ve been so good to me even though I’ve been a total douche.”

Cas shrugged. “It’s okay, I still really like you and want to prove to you I won’t leave. And that I want to be here.”

Dean got up from the table and walked over to him without a word. He spun Cas towards him and took his face in his hands, pulling him into a kiss.

Cas kissed Dean back deeply, a bit surprised but willing to kiss him. He pulled back after a minute. “What was that for?” He asked.

Dean tentatively wrapped his arms around Cas and rested his head on his shoulder. “Trying to show affection…” he answered softly. “Just… Thank you…”

Cas grinned widely as Dean wrapped his arms around him and hugged him. He wrapped his arms around Dean as well. “You’re doing amazing Dean.” He said sounding happy and rubbing his back gently.

Dean twitched slightly at the reciprocation. “I’m sorry I’m so bad at this. I know I need to try to not be miserable forever.”

Cas nodded and leaned back to hold Dean’s face. “It’s okay, you can take your time. You’re making effort and that’s what counts.” He said kissing Dean again.

Dean smiled and blushed a little. “Thanks.”

Cas nodded. “Want to help me with breakfast?” he asked.

“Yeah,” he smiled wider. “I’ll man the bacon.”

Cas smiled. “Thanks Dean. For trying.” He said smiling as he mixed the waffle batter.

Dean nodded. “Thanks for caring.” He replied. “And sorry it took me getting wasted to give you anything you wanted.”

Cas shrugged. “That’s okay, I know it makes you uncomfortable.” He said

“Yeah, but this shouldn’t be so hard. People do it all the time yet I can’t.”

“But you have a history Dean. It’s okay, as long as you’re trying.”

“Not hard enough or else it’d be working.”

“It’s okay Dean, you’re making progress. That’s all that counts.”

“It’s not enough though, I’m honestly worried I’ll never be enough.”

“You are Dean. You are enough.” He said passionately.

“Not really.” He said sadly. “I’m never going to be the warm and cuddly type.”

“You were just two minutes ago, you said you would try and I believe in you.” He said looking to Dean and grabbing his hand.

Dean blushed at the touch. “I’m almost never like that though.”

“It’s okay, you’re making an effort.” Cas said intertwining their fingers. Dean smiled softly at him and they both went back to eating their food.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys think! I love getting feedback.


	14. I Can Help You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas has Dean come over to watch a movie and they end up talking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so, so sorry for not updating for so long! I was just swamped with school. But now that school is out I have more time and will be updating more! Thank you guys for being so patient with me and always being so excited for the next chapter!

Cas invited Dean over to watch a movie, figuring they should do something other than have sex… they did that a lot… Not that he didn’t like that, he just wanted to try and get Dean to do a little more than just sex and Dean said he wanted to try so he figured he’d help.

Dean came over and Cas smiled when he saw him at the door. “Hey Dean.” He said softly, letting him in. “What do you want to watch?” he asked softly and went to sit on the couch.

“Uh.. I’m up for anything.” Dean replied sitting on the couch.

“Anything?” Cas asked with a grin.

“Yes…” Dean said cautiously, suddenly a little worried as to what he got himself into.

“Like a cheesy romantic comedy and maybe some cuddling?” He asked

Dean stuttered. “I-I don’t know.”

“It’s really easy, I promise. We could start slow, maybe just hold hands at first?” Cas asked.

“I don’t know.. Maybe…” Dean said nervously.

“If you feel uncomfortable you can just tell me and I’ll stop.” He said looking to Dean. “Just.. You said you were wanting to try so I figured I’d help.”

“Okay…” Dean nodded slightly.

Cas grinned widely. “Really?” He asked excitedly.

“If it’ll make you happy.” Dean smiled a little.

Cas smiled. “It will.” He said grinning. “Want a cheesy Christmas movie? It’s almost here anyways.”

Dean shrugged. “Sure, whatever you want.”

Cas smiled. “Okay.” He said turning the TV on and picking The Santa Clause. He laid back against the couch and reached down to hold Dean’s hand. Dean squeezed back and Cas smiled. He looked to Dean. “You okay?” He asked leaning a little closer.

“I think…” He said quietly.

Cas nodded. “What would help?” He asked.

“I don’t know.” He sighed. “I’m just really used to limiting myself to just sex. I’m not really relationship material.”

“Well what if we make it a little more sexual?” He asked, looking to Dean and biting his lip.

Dean turned to look at Cas. “I think I’d like that.” He smiled a little.

“Okay, you watch the movie and I’ll occupy myself.” He said wrapping a leg onto Dean’s lap and kissing his neck.

“Can I at least touch you back?” Dean asked, lifting his chin to give Cas more room.

“If you want to.” Cas said against Dean’s neck and full on cuddled him, kissing Dean’s jaw and neck to distract him. Cas felt Dean’s hands resting on his hips and assumed he was doing okay. He continued to kiss at Dean’s neck and jaw before his kisses began to slow to a stop. Soon enough he was just resting his head on Dean’s chest and watching the movie. He thought about asking him if it was alright but he didn’t want to point out the fact that they were cuddling and draw attention to it. He smiled, it felt nice, and Dean was actually reciprocating. Cas smiled and moved his hands to Dean’s sides, testing to see if he was ticklish.

Dean flinched, instinctively and pushed him away.

Cas giggled and grinned. “Dean are you ticklish?” He asked as he reached and tickled Dean again.

“Of course not.” Dean frowned and swatted his hands away.

Cas wasn't sure how to read dean's emotions. He scooted away. "Sorry." He said quietly before sitting on the other end of the couch, figuring that would make Dean most comfortable and he deserved that since he just made him so uncomfortable. He folded his arms and chewed at his lip, looking down.

Dean turned to Cas and scooted back towards him. "No, it's okay, I'm sorry. I was just being a dick... that was actually really cute, how much enjoyment you got out of that."

Cas worried his lip. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable dean. Sorry.. I shouldn't have." He said. 

"Life's uncomfortable," he replied. "But at least I have a cutie who likes me-for some goddamn reason-in mine."

Cas blushed slightly and looked to Dean with a smile. “See… it’s not that hard to be cute and cheesy.” He said.

“I… don’t know where it came from.” He replied

Cas scooted closer to Dean and kissed him softly, wrapping an arm around him. He kissed him and then went back to watch the movie. Dean’s arm went behind him and rested on the couch before slowly moving down and putting it around Cas’s shoulder. Cas smiled. “This is nice.” He said with a grin.

“Yeah,” Dean said quietly, watching the movie a bit distractedly.

Cas watched the movie for a bit longer before going back to kissing Dean’s neck again. HE sucked a hickey into Dean’s neck and looked at it, smiling triumphantly. He smiled and rested his head back on Dean’s chest.

“You like marking me up?” Dean asked with a smirk

Cas smiled and looked back up at Dean. “Yeah, now when you’re teaching tomorrow everyone can see the hickey and know you’re seeing someone, and I’ll know it’s me.” He said with a grin.

Dean let out a little chuckle as he blushed. “Maybe I should mark you up too. Somewhere no one can see though, just you and me.” He said with a wink.

Cas laughed. “I don’t mind people seeing it.”

“Yeah, but it’d be a little suspicious if we both suddenly show up with hickeys, don’t you think?” He asked

Cas let out a laugh. “Dean the class is pretty big, I don’t think anyone will put the pieces together.” He said.

“I really can’t afford to take any chances. Plus, we’ll both be seeing Sam and Jess and they will immediately make the connection.”

Cas nodded. “Whatever you’re comfortable with.”

“Is that okay with you too though? I take some of your clothes off and mark you up? No sex, I mean, unless you want, just a little extended make out?”

“Sure, Why not?” He smiled as Dean pulled him into a kiss. The kiss broke for a second before Dean pulled Cas’s shirt off him. He rubbed his hands over Cas’s chest, pushing him down softly and straddling his legs.

Dean slowly moved down Cas’s body, pressing kisses to his neck before kissing and sucking a spot on his collar bone. Once he was done with that spot he moved down further, kissing at the skin, then nipping and sucking on it. He left more spots just below his collar bone and moved down again, closer to his stomach this time. He kissed down to just above his waistband and sucked a mark in the soft skin between his stomach and hips.

Cas groaned softly. “Okay, okay.” He said pulling Dean up into a kiss. He was getting too turned on for it to continue that way. He could feel dean smiling against the kiss as he kissed him back.

“You like that?” Dean asked.

Cas nodded. “Too much.” He said.

“That was nice.” Dean said with a smile. “Do you think maybe later you would want to let yourself enjoy it too much?” He asked

“Uh… I don’t know I just… I have really strong feelings for you, but if you don’t see it as anything but sex…”

Dean rolled off Cas, lying beside him. "Look," he started quietly. "I think you're really beautiful and sweet and deserve the world, but that's the problem. You deserve so much more than me and I'm lucky that you're in my life at all. And even if I was worthy, I haven't been in a relationship in a long time and never with a guy..."

"Why not try new things? You've gotta get back in a relationship some time. Why not start now? It's the same with a boy as with a girl." he said looking to Dean and sitting up.

“Because I’m scared alright?” He said before quickly looking away.

Cas looked back to Dean before reaching to grab his hand gently. "Dean so many things are scary. The things that scare us are meant to be overcome. Look. I've heard of some ways to overcome your fears and the first step is being aware that you're scared so that's a start. Why don't we conquer this together? To be honest I'm a little scared too. I've never been in a relationship before and I really don't know how it is or if I would be good enough. I have a lot of insecurities. We can help each other out." He said looking into his eyes and hoping that Dean was hearing him and that he would at least consider it. He was scared too, all the time, but he wanted to try this. He had to start somewhere.

"How have you never been in a relationship before?" Dean asked honestly. "You've obviously had plenty of sex before and got really good at it, and you really seemed to know what you were doing here. Plus, you're gorgeous. Who wouldn't want to date you?"

Cas shrugged and looked down. "Like I said, all I'm good for is sex. No one ever wants more. I'm not trying to guilt you into it I just... honestly no one ever wants me for anything more." He said chewing at his lip and looking down. 

"I totally get it," he responded. "That's how my life's been up to this point too. I mean, I was never really a romantic to begin with but I thought Lisa would change that. But she just turned out to be even worse than everyone before her and just made this whole thing so much more difficult for me. Just the fact that she never actually liked me and never will really hurt me. But you, you don't deserve that. You deserve someone who will really love and take care of you."

Cas looked up to dean. "Can't you? No one else has ever been this interested in me. Honestly, I think we could have a good thing if we tried. We don't have to tell anyone. I know you're still trying to figure stuff out but..." he looked to the side. "I just wish someone would like me enough to try it."

Dean didn’t say anything for a minute and the wo of them just sat in silence, and it was killing Cas. Every second they sat there he started to feel worse and worse.

“Okay…” Dean finally said with a deep breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think in the comments!!


	15. Party Crashed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jess comes over to hang out with Cas and crashes their party.

Cas looked to Dean. “Okay?” he asked, trying not to get too excited in case it didn’t mean what he thought it did.

Dean looked back to Cas. “Okay, we can try. Just... I’m gonna apologize in advance if I freak out and we have to stop.”

Cas grinned widely. “Really?” He asked excitedly.

Dean smiled back. “Yeah..”

“Yay!!” Cas said with a big grin. Jumping on Dean and hugging him. He smiled when the hug was reciprocated. He smiled and kissed Dean multiple times, smiling as he did. He was so happy that Dean took a chance on him and was willing to go out of his comfort zone to try.

“I’m already really sorry, and promise it has nothing to do with you if I have to stop though, okay?” He said.

“Shhh...” Cas said kissing Dean and climbing onto his lap. “Let’s be happy right now.” He hummed and kissed him some more.

“Okay..” Dean said quietly but then was lost in the kiss.

Cas kissed him deeply as Dean’s hands ran over his hips. Cas kissed him for a while before pulling back from the kiss and just looking down at Dean, smiling and examining his face.

“What’re you doing?” Dean asked with a little huff of a laugh.

Cas smiled and kissed Dean’s nose. “You’re so beautiful.” He said with a smile. “I didn’t notice how many freckles you have.” He said grinning.

A visible blush rose to Dean’s cheeks. “T-Thanks.”

Cas smiled and nodded. “Your eyes are amazing.” He said kissing him again and the blush on Dean’s cheek became a deeper red as they kissed. Cas’s smile grew bigger and bigger as he watched Dean. “You’re also really cute when you blush.” He said with another kiss.

“S-sorry… I just… I’m not used to comments like that, especially in a non-sexual context.” Dean said.

Cas could sense Dean’s sensitivity and that he was slightly uncomfortable and obviously self-conscious about this. “Hey… “ Cas said reaching down to hold Dean’s hand. “You’ll get used to it. And I say this stuff because I mean it. We all have things we’re not used to and we’ll soon get used to, and even like.” He chuckled softly. “Take math for me… professor.” He winked.

Dean laughed. “You like math because of me?”

“I mean when I understand it it’s not too terrible… I like _math class_ because of you.” He chuckled.

Dean kissed Cas again. “That’s what I like to hear.” He smiled.

Cas smiled and kissed Dean. He let out a little laugh. “We’re doing a great job at watching the movie, aren’t we?”

“Not at all.” Dean laughed. “This is more fun though.” He said with a smile.

Cas nodded and kissed Dean again. “A lot more fun.” He smiled as Dean’s hands ran over his chest. Dean’s eyes were running over Cas’s skin and the marks he left there were darkening. “You like your marks?”

“Yeah..” Dean said breathily with a smile.

Cas smiled. “Good. Because I’m yours.” He said as Dean leaned in and kissed at his neck, kissing down to the marks on his collar bone and adding some more. Cas hummed as he ran his hands through Dean’s hair.

A knock came from the door and Cas jumped a little. “Uh… One sec.” He said looking for his shirt.

“Cas, it’s me. We need to talk about how the other night went.” Came Jess’s voice from the other side of the door.

Dean shoved Cas off him quickly. “I gotta hide.” He whispered to Cas, a terrified expression on his face. He ran back to Cas’s room and closed himself in the closet.

“Uh, one sec Jess.” Cas said as he followed Dean. He opened the closet door behind him. “Hey, Dean listen. She’ll probably be here for a while. I’ll just tell her that we had dinner and you went home. But that we forgot about the assignment so you came back to correct it. Sound good?”

“Cas I’m wearing the same shirt as yesterday and there’s a hickey on my neck. She’ll never believe that.”

“So you can wear one of my hoodies.” Cas said.

“Won’t she know it’s yours? And the hickey might still show…” Dean said.

“If she asks just say you were cold so I let you borrow one. You don’t have to if you don’t want to, I’m just saying she might be here for a while.” He said

“I don’t know Cas… she really can’t find out.”

Cas nodded. “Okay. You can stay in here. Just… Sit on the bed or something.” He said grabbing a shirt and pulling it over his head.

Dean nodded. “I’m sorry.” He said quietly.

“It’s okay.” Cas said, kissing Dean quickly before going out and opening the door. “Sorry, I had to get dressed.” He said.

“Oooh,” Jess smirked as she walked in. “Does that mean it went well then?”

 Cas tried not to smile. “I mean it went okay, but not _that_ good. I was just chillin’ in my boxers.”

“Ah, I see.” She smiled. “What’d you guys do then?”

“We ate dinner and talked. On a plus, he said that I’m really easy to talk to… told me about his dad.”

“Wow, I’m impressed,” she responded. “He’s not usually one to talk about anything.”

“Yeah. So at least there’s that.” He said as he tried to think of a way to get her out so Dean wouldn’t have to hide for forever. “So actually… I was gonna go get Christmas gifts for everyone…” He said.

“Oh, ok! Did you want company or would you rather go alone?” She asked.

“Uh… You can come if you want. Just let me go get my coat.” He said. “I’ll be back.” He said before going back to his room and closing the door behind him. He looked to Dean. “I’m gonna have to go to get her out.” He whispered. “You could just leave once we’re gone. Or you could stay here and I’ll make it fast.” He added.

“I think I’m gonna head home.” He whispered. “Call me later if you want. Thank you.” He said.

Cas nodded. “I’ll text you.” He said, leaning in to kiss him before going, grabbing his coat as he went out. “Hey, sorry I couldn’t find it” He said.

“That’s okay. You ready to go?”

Cas nodded. “Let’s go.” He said, opening the door with a smile.

They went to the mall to pick out gifts for Cas’s mom, some friends and Dean for Christmas.


End file.
